What is my thesis? Under Botstein's proposed system, a 16 year old would fail in society today. It is essential that the system stays the way it is, and students graduate at eighteen. This would allow them to continue maturing and learning. At this pointthe economy could possibly be more prepared to provide them with jobs.
Main points? That 16 year olds are still immature, their brains are still growing and lacking knowledge. They should stay in school the full 4 years of high school. This might give them the knowledge and training they need to go out into the work force and get a good paying job.
Most helpful advice from peer evaluation? That I need a title for my essay, and that my cites was wrong.
Most helpful information I received in class? I would say that it had to do wiyh learning how to summerize the essay into my own words. That was kinda of a starting point for me, on writing the essay.
I wrote two drafts of this paper, took down lots of notes, 5 minute outline in workshop, and put i all together as a rough draft.
I am still having problems with run on sentences and fragments. But my biggest problem seems to be writing the conclusion.
The thing that pleases me the most is how much I have learned to put my words and meanings down on a piece of paper. Before I started English 100, I was a lost puppy with writing down thing. and of course getting a good grade, thats very pleasing to me.
Hi Greg,
ReplyDeleteI'm happy that it is pleasing to receive a high grade. You should be proud. What do you think was wrong with the conclusion. I may not remember correctly, because I look at a lot of drafts, but I know a lot of people had difficulty with the conclusion. To that, I advise students to reintroduce the connection you have with the essay. Hope this helps.
Ms. C